Bittersweet Moments
by BroodyBlondes4ever
Summary: Set after the S3 finale...They can't deny their feeligns, or the fact that those feelings just aren't enough. BLP Triangle...R&R!


She sat with her knees tucked securely against her chest. Black lines streaked down her face and her eyes burned a vibrant red. _'How could I be so stupid?'_ It was the only question she could ask herself…all day…the _same_ question…and after hours of sitting in the same position…after she had cried so hard and so long that she no longer had any tears left…she still had no answer.

"Peyton…" she turned towards her doorway to see _him_ standing there. He was the reason her life was such hell …why _nothing_ made sense anymore.

"What do you want?" Her voice was sharp and bitter, venom to his ears. The fire in her eyes made him take a step back, but he was determined to stand his ground, to find out once and for all what the hell had happened between her and Brooke. He was worried about her, he couldn't help it. Brooke had all but begged him to stay away from Peyton, but he knew that even if he wanted to, he would never be able to cut the blonde out of his life.

"I just wanted to check on you. I haven't spoken to you in two days, not since the reception. I mean you didn't even look at me when we were at the hospital." He slowly made his way into her room, but he still kept a fair amount of distance between them. He looked around and noticed that her walls were now bare. There was nothing left but old pieces of tape and ripped corners of drawing paper.

"So you came and you saw me…I'm fine" she threw her thin arms up in the air. She wanted to wave him off but she didn't have the energy anymore…she was just tired…so tired of everything. She was angry at the world…the horrible hand she had been dealt…angry at the life that never seemed fair...never seemed anything but cruel. She was angry at the boy in front of her who had entered her world and turned everything upside down.

"Fucked up…insecure…neurotic…and emotional" He gave her a small smile which he hoped she would return, but all he received was a more intense glare. He watched as she got to her feet.

"Lucas…get out" He moved closer to her despite her request. In turn she took a step toward him. They were inches apart when he tired to place his hands on her shoulders, but she gripped his wrists with her own hands. "Go find you precious girlfriend before you make another mistake." Her eyes never left his and she watched as genuine confusion spread across his face. Brooke had come to get the remainder of her things yesterday, and Peyton's attempted apology turned into another verbal attack from her former best friend. Before she walked out of the room, the brunette made sure to dish out a few last words, words she knew would hurt the already distraught blonde.

**Flashback**

_Brooke picked her bag up and made her way to the door, leaving Peyton with tears streaking down her face. The brunette turned in the doorway with a cruel smile on her face._

_"Brooke…" Peyton bit her lower lip as she watched her best friend…she didn't know what else she could say…no words seemed to ease the brunette's anger._

_"You know…I don't know why I'm letting you get to me so much Peyton…you don't stand a chance with him…he doesn't want you…he **never** did. I found a box last year…it was full of pictures of you and letters…I told you about that remember…the infamous Peyton Box. What I never told you…you were his biggest mistake…I believe his exact words were…'I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up with you'. You see Peyton…all you were was a mistake…some momentary lapse in judgment he had. He never wanted you and **never** will._

**End Flashback**

Those few words had managed to shred her heart into the tiniest bits and pieces. She had given up everything for him…risked it all and for what…so he could call her a mistake.

"Peyt…what are you talking about" his eyebrows instinctively went up as he waited for her to explain.

"What…you forgot already" With her hands on his chest, she used all her strength to push him backwards and into the wall. "How could you…I gave up everything for you…I stabbed my best friend in the back because of your broken promises and empty words…I _have_ to be with you Peyton…you're mine forever _Peyton_…no, this isn't just some stupid fling. I remember every god damn thing you said to me Lucas. And I guess I wasn't a fling…I was one step below…I was your mistake…your one true regret." She watched the pained look that cascaded over his face and she knew he suddenly remembered.

"Peyt" his hands reached up to cup her face, but he stopped when she slapped him hard on the cheek.

"Don't you dare make excuses…" she was fighting back tears with every word. She refused to cry in front of him…he didn't deserve any tears, and if she couldn't stop the tears, she would at least stop him from seeing them.

"I had the box and she found it…what was I supposed to say to her Peyton. Haley had Nathan and you had Jake…but me…Peyton I had no one and Brooke was there. She was willing to give her heart to me…unlike you. So I buried my feelings for you and I went after Brooke. I wanted to work things out with you, but you had already moved on to one of my best friends"

Her hand went up again and she slapped him even harder than before. "I was ready to give you everything…two days after you claimed to want my heart…I tried to give it to you Lucas…but you were ready to jump into bed with Brooke. I tried again after that, but the second time you fucked Nikki. I got tired of giving you my heart just so you could break it. I got sick of hearing your lines and of listening to you profess your love to me only to have to turn around and watch you jump into bed with another girl."

He wrapped his hands around hers before he spoke again, a small smile playing on his lips. "Peyton …Brooke gave me her heart but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't give her mine" She ripped her hands away from him and pushed his chest again.

"Is that supposed to magically make it all better? Am I supposed to jump into you arms now…do you have some magnificent white horse waiting outside so we can ride off into the sunset?" She continued to beat her hands against his chest until he pressed his lips against hers. Her body gave in at first but within seconds she pushed him away.

"Peyt…"

"No…you're with Brooke. Lucas I refuse to be your girl on the side…I just won't do it. I'm not just gunna sit and wait for you to go running back to Brooke." He kissed her again, only this time her pulled her body into his, not giving her any room to push him away. He could feel her fighting him but he refused to let her go. He was tired of running from her just because she was a little more complicated. She came with emotional baggage, and he was finally to accept that. Sure he loved Brooke, but he was slowly realizing that he wasn't in love with her.

Getting lost in his thoughts had caused him to loosen his grip on her hands, giving her just enough leverage to break away from him. He grabbed her wrists just before she got the chance to slap him again.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed as she slapped him with her free hand. She once again began pounding her fists into his chest.

"Peyton…will you stop…PEYTON" He grabbed her waist and spun their bodies around. She found herself pinned to the wall and her hands locked between her body and his chest. She lost the battle as the tears fell freely from her eyes. He leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head and his lips traveled to her neck instead.

"I HATE YOU…I FUCKING HATE YOU" she clenched her fists tighter, but her arms wouldn't move.

"And I love you…do you hear me Peyton…I…love…you." He cupped her face with his hands and leaned his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out…but I can't hide it anymore…I've tired running from my feelings and somehow I always wind up right back here…with you"

"You're ruing your precious relationship with Brooke…she's _the one_…don't you remember…you're crazy about her…you're completely in love with her…or did you forget" her voice was starting to crack as he moved his head away. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes after a quick glance at the ceiling. "Just leave…please"

"Peyton….I…"

"No…you can't just waltz in here and do this to me…how could you be that selfish. You're lying to somebody Lucas…either it's me or it's Brooke, but regardless you're nothing but selfish asshole." She kept her head tilted upward…she couldn't look him the eyes.

"I know that I'm in the wrong. I shouldn't have hid behind Brooke again"

"And what if things with you and Brooke are on the rocks and you're just hiding behind me…how am I supposed to trust you?" Her body slid down against the wall, and she didn't fight him when he bent down and gripped her chin, making her look him in the eye.

"Because I love you…because it's always been you Peyton…no matter what it always comes back to you. I can live without Brooke…she's great…but she's just not you…I can't live without you. I left last year because I wanted to be a better person for you Peyton…not for Brooke…for you." He closed the distance between them, and she didn't fight him this time. She didn't know what to do anymore. She felt their bodies falling to the floor, and she couldn't deny that it felt good to taste him again. Without thinking she undid his belt buckle and unbuttoned his pants.

He slipped his tongue slowly into her mouth as his fingers found their way under her shirt. The thin shirt was soon over her head and discarded somewhere next to their bodies. She turned her head away as felt his lips slide down her neck. "You're with Brooke…Lucas I _won't_ be that girl again" she spoke through gritted teeth as she pushed his body off of her. She grabbed her shirt and stood up. "Get out…" she pointed towards the door as she held her shirt over her upped body, which was now covered only by the lacy black bra she wore.

"Peyton" he stood up and moved towards her but she pushed him away from her and towards the door.

"I hate you for making me into the other woman…I lost my best friend because of you…twice. Why can't you ever just leave it alone?"

"I don't get it…what's the problem…why do you hate me?"

"GOD…I don't hate you…that's the problem…that's always the problem…why can't you see that…why are you so damn blind"

"Peyt…I'm sorry for everything…"

"What are you sorry for…do you even have the slightest idea what your apologizing for…or are you just saying that because you think that's what I wanna hear" She waited for him to respond, and when he come up with no response she knew what his answer was. She sighed in disbelief. "Just get out…" he tried to reach out to her but she swatted his hand away. "GET THE FUCK OUT…"

"Peyt…"

"No…I'm your mistake Lucas…remember…the villain in the story book romance of Brooke and Lucas…and I'm also the girl you go to when your hormones are raging your girlfriend's not available. Well not anymore…you can go find yourself a new whore"

In one swift motion he had his hands on her face and his lips pressed firmly against hers. It took her a second to register what was going on, but the moment she did she pulled away and slapped him again, making sure to drag her nails across his face this time. He pushed her back against the wall and pinned her hands down on either side of her body. "I'm not letting you chase me away this time. You want all the same things I do…I know it"

"You don't know anything" It was all she could get out before his lips crashed against hers. He pushed his body into hers as he brought her hands up around his neck. Without thinking she pressed her hands into the nape of his neck as his fingers trailed back down her arms and continued down her sides. He gripped her waist and hoisted her body onto his hips, her legs automatically wrapping around him, and his hips bucking against hers, pressing her body as hard as possible against the wall.

A slow moan escaped her lips as his lips trialed lightly down her neck and her head rolled back until it hit the wall. This was wrong…she didn't want this…but she couldn't stop it. The moment she saw him walk into her room she wanted nothing more than to watch him leave…but it felt good to be wanted…to have his hands carelessly roaming her body. She didn't know why, but that thought made her picture his hands on Brooke. She picture him doing the same thing to the brunette she once considered a friend…she could hear him telling Brooke the same things he had just told her.

"GET OFF OF ME" he ignored her screams as his lips trailed lower and onto her shoulder. He used hand to slide the strap of her bra off her shoulder before he place it back on her thigh. "You bastard" she wanted to scream, but her breath kept catching in her throat.

He was determined to break her…to make her admit that she still loved him. He now understood why she and Brooke were no longer friends, and as sad as that was it made his heart soar…simply because it meant he still had her heart. He realized breaking her might not be so easy however when she unhooked her arms, lifted his head, and brought her hand to his face again.

"If you're gunna keep hitting can you at least switch cheeks" he immediately regretted his words when she did as he requested.

"Better" she questioned with a bitter smile.

"Much" That was his only reply before he planted his lips on hers again. She wrapped her legs even tighter around his lower half. Her back arched off the wall as his lips found their way between her breasts. Her fingers gripped tightly onto the hem of his shirt and quickly yanked it over his head. She bent her neck and managed to capture his lips with her own.

"You know—this—doesn't—change—anything." The words formed between kisses and she soon made her way down to his neck.

"I know" he moaned as he released his hands from her legs and slowly slid her body back onto the floor. He leaned into her neck and lined kisses up to her ear. "It changes everything" he whispered before dropping to his knees. Her hands rummaged through his hair as his lips parted and sucked on her bare stomach. His hands trailed up her legs, weaving along her inner and outer thighs. His fingers rapidly unbuttoned her jeans before he placed a hand on each of her hips and tugged the jeans off her body. She stepped out of the denim and kicked it to the side as his kisses traveled further down and lined the edge of her matching underwear. He looked up to see head tilted back, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. He dropped down to her inner thigh as his finger looped under the thin strap of her thong. Her hands moved over his…things were never supposed to get this far.

He tried to pull the thin fabric down but her hands wouldn't let him. He picked his head up and placed his lips back on her lower stomach. He sucked lightly on her skin and felt her grip on his hands loosen just as he expected. He knew how to get to her and she loved him and hated him for it at the same time. His hands quickly slid the black fabric off her body before she had a chance to stop him.

His eyes darted upwards when he felt moisture fall onto his hands, which were now grasping hers again. He watched as tears slipped from under closed lids. He slowly got to his feet and kissed her gently. He wondered how checking on her had turned into this.

She kissed him back, trying desperately to get lost in that sensation again. She wasn't supposed to be doing this…she was just setting herself up for heartbreak again…for more pain. She was crying harder now, though still silently. Tears slipped down her cheeks, tears for the boy she loved but could never really have. He didn't belong to her…he belonged to Brooke.

The thoughts slipped away from her mind when she felt his fingers inside of her. She inhaled sharply as he began moving faster. Her body grew more tense with each movement, and her fingers were now digging into his shoulder. Her body relaxed when his hands found their place on her waist against, slowly sliding up her torso. She kept her eyes closed as she felt his hands wiping away the moisture from under her eyes…his rough and calloused hands that somehow seemed so soft against her skin. Her hands pushed his jeans down to his knees before sliding back up and resting on his back so she could pull his body closer. She could feel him swelling as he bucked his hips into hers.

With her back pushed hard against the wall he once again hoisted her onto his waist. Her arms snaked around his neck and into his hair as he found her neck once again. Her hips began grinding against his as her feet pulled his boxers down by his pants. She gasped when she felt him slide inside of her. Her legs tightened around his waist as his hips rocked slowly. Her breathing grew heavier as his pace quickened. She could feel his warm breath against her shoulder, his breathing equally as heavy as hers.

Her back arched off the wall as his hands gripped her bare hips tightly. The heat rose in both of their bodies as beads of sweat formed on their skin. Her nails grazed his back before she buried her mouth on his shoulder. He could hear her screams against his skin as his own grew in the back of his throat. He captured her lips just as the sound left his body and echoed into hers. The kiss grew harder as warmth finally flowed from his body into hers. Slowly the kiss turned into something more gentle as their breathing began to even back out.

Her lips eventually parted from his as her head hit the wall. He gave one final push before setting her body back on the floor and resting his head against her shoulder. She inhaled deeply before pushing his body away and gathering her clothes from off the floor. He watched with a sense of longing as she got dressed, and he couldn't ignore the pain radiating through his chest…the aching in his heart. He got dressed as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail and wiped roughly at her face.

"Peyton…" he started, but stopped when she threw a hand towel in his direction. He wiped the sweat of his face before discarding the towel on her computer stand. He was about to call out to her again, but he was stopped once again, this time but something that made him cringe.

"Don't get excited or anything…I'm not here to make amends I just left my make-up bag here…" They both watched the brunette walk into the room, her sour look turning into one of shock and confusion as she walked through the doorway. The two blondes exchanged a quick glance before staring back and the now cross armed brunette. "What the hell…"

"Look…Brooke I just came to check on her,…whether you like it or not she's still my friend and it's been a hectic few days…I just wanted to see how she was" Lucas threw his hands up in defense as Brooke glared from him to Peyton.

"So you came and you saw me…I'm fine…now you can both get out" She rolled her hazel eyes before turning around and going into her walk-in closet. Brooke scoffed before grabbing her make-up bag off the computer desk and stalking out of the room. She stopped at the doorway and turned to see Lucas staring in Peyton's direction.

"Lucas…are you coming?" It was more of a statement then a question and she looked at him with raised brows.

"Yeah…" he let out a deep breath as he turned and walked out the door behind his girlfriend.

Peyton turned just on time to see his back as he rounded the corner. '_How could I be so stupid?' _It was the same question she had been asking herself all day…and after all this…she still had no answer.


End file.
